Blog Post: Ghosted
Taking the time to get to know a complete stranger takes a lot of patience and effort. It can be a little nerve-wrecking at first because you're not exactly sure what to expect. But your unexpected interaction with that certain someone eventually led to texts and phone conversations, which then led to two or three dates, which then had you fantasizing over what seems to be a potential relationship...Or so you thought. Everything seemed to be going perfectly fine. You talked to each other almost every day, the dates were fun and romantic, and future plans to spend time together were already discussed. Then all of a sudden..silence. Complete silence. No phone calls, no texts, no nothing! This is what I call a classic case of ghosting.
Ghosting is a modern term used which basically falls along the lines of ignoring someone. The worst part about being ghosted by someone you're dating, is that most of the time you have no idea why you're being ghosted. There's usually no explanation which leaves you questioning everything that might have gone wrong. You revisit every text and think about every word you might have said that could have been a turn-off. Being ghosted is not fun whatsoever. It builds up insecurity, worry, and fear of moving forward with someone else who could potentially do the same thing to you again. Unfortunately this happens way too often because of how easy it is these days to just not respond. Men and women who are serial ghosters are usually fine with breaking things off by simply staying silent. What ghosters don't realize is how dangerous this can actually be. When you don't explain to someone why you can't continue talking to them or seeing them, their minds are never fully at ease. The person that was ghosted could develop even more mistrust when dating other people in the future, and they may even give some pushback towards someone who is genuinely interested in forming a connection because they are afraid to be vulnerable again.
If you happen to be the one doing most of the ghosting, try being more up front rather than hiding how you feel. Honesty gains more respect and believe it or not, people actually don't get that angry if you just tell them what your intentions are, respectfully. To those of you that have been ghosted, try not to question yourself too much or blame yourself for why things didn't turn out the way you imagined. Keep on dating and remain open. It's okay to be cautious, but try not to shut people out just because someone else didn't have the guts to be honest with you in the past. We have to reverse this ghosting cycle somehow, and the best way to do that is to start being honest.
-Autumn C.